It's been a wild past few months to say the least. When I say wild I mean full of joy, excitement and change!!
My mom is engaged!! This September, I gain a wonderful stepdad, three beautiful sisters, two brother in laws, two sweet little nieces and a new home. Ahh, my heart is so full.
Twenty-four units later, I am officially done with my freshman year of college!! Being home and attending a community college for my first year wasn't my ideal plan, but as the year progressed, I learned that God's plan was so much greater than mine. God knew that entering into this new adventure called adulthood, I wasn't ready to just jump in. Having to find a balance between friends, change, schoolwork and frequent hospital admissions, I needed to slowly ease into this new chapter of life. Three out of five of my finals were done in my hospital room. That should give you a little glimpse of where a lot of my freshman year was spent. I constantly found myself missing treatments and not exercising my body (something you're not allowed to do when you have a life threatening lung disease) because I was purely focused on school and maintaining a GPA. It took me until this month to really understand the importance of putting my lungs as my priority. HA, after nineteen years of living with CF, you would think I would have learned that one years ago. Crazy what adulthood does to someone ;) - I'm proud to say that I haven't missed a treatment in over two weeks, I've cut out {most} junk food and I have dedicated an hour a day to exercise. I'm done going in for a pulmonary function test and leaving with news that my lung function has dropped and I need to be admitted into the hospital yet again. Last time I was at Stanford, my lung function was 82% which is 14% lower than my baseline of 96%. For a lot of patients with CF at my age, 82 is a celebratory number, but for Julie, it's something to worry about. I don't know what my lung function is at today, but I'm confident that when I go in for my appointment in a month that my hard work will show in the numbers (pray for Jules).
In just two short months, I travel 385 miles away from home to start at Cal Baptist University. I want to enter this new adventure of my life healthier than I've ever been. I have multiple friends with Cystic Fibrosis who have gone into college with good health, but due to the overload of schoolwork, few hours of sleep, poor diet, missing an unhealthy amount of treatments and having little to no time to stay active- within just a years worth of time, they quickly found themselves on full time oxygen with their name on a transplant list. Most not even 21 years old and at a place where they'd never thought they'd be. Callum Finnegan, a twenty-four year old with CF who is currently waiting for new lungs explains it like this, "All my teenage life I thought I was invincible, I thought nothing would stop me. I didn't listen and I didn't care. I would get unwell and my lung function would drop, but I would come back out of hospital after IVs better than ever and I thought I was unstoppable." When I read this, I realized, this is me. I think I am invincible. Until recently, I've never really struggled with maintaining a high lung function. I've stayed out of the hospital for most of my life and my health has never been something I've had to worry about. Now that I'm an adult, things are different. Disease progresses, life gets fuller and fuller and it's more difficult than ever to stay on top of my health. I'm not ready for the reality of someone living with Cystic Fibrosis to become my reality. Thanking Jesus for protecting my lungs during those times of missed meds and stripping me of my prideful self- motivating me to fight CF. I'm grateful for a God who fights this gnarly disease with me and has gracefully given me extra days of life on Earth.
Okay, back to the whole freshman year of college thing... I learned some things.
1. Julie, your lungs are your priority. Everything else comes second.
2. I can't do life on my own. I need Jesus in everything.
3. I gained self-discipline, patience, and self-control.
4. My strengths are writing, encouraging, cardio (I know, this surprised me too) and sleeping in.
5. My weaknesses are logrhythms, pizza, responding to people's texts and filling out financial aid forms on time.
6. I learned what full dependance on Jesus and HIS timing looks like.
7. "Sometimes God prunes us when He is about to take us into a new season of growth ad expansion." Christine Caine
8. College is not like high school.
9. You think adulthood means freedom? Think again. I've had more responsibilities just this past year than I have my whole childhood combined.
10. Junior college isn't as terrible as everyone makes it out to be.
11. Financial aid and the college transfer system are not your friends.
12. Multitasking is not my forte; multitasking needs to be my forte.
Praise Jesus for slowing easing me into this whole adult thing. Reflecting on this past year, I see how much Jesus protected me by keeping me home another year. It was a rough beginning watching all my friends move out and start new lives at their universities, but in the midst of it all, I see that God really challenged me and worked on my heart in multiple aspects of my life, forcing me to lean on Him, even when it was hard. I'm reminded that He makes good out of every. single. thing.
Here's to new adventures, new homes and full hearts.
Love you :)
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