to live is christ, to die is gain

       {Phil Wickham // Lake Perris, Ca}

I've been in the church my whole life and I've been to countless Christian concerts. Being in a room full of people lifting their hands and their voices in worship is nothing new to me. I've witnessed the Holy Spirit move over and over and over again. I've seen hearts be changed and eyes be open to the goodness of Christ and fullness of life- but last night my heart was broken for this world and I felt the presence of Jesus on this Southern California fairground richer than ever.

I think it's because of all the persecution of Christians around this nation that's being brought to light lately- ISIS, Charleston shooting, the Umpqua College in Oregon shooting, the Mexican drug cartel- we hear story after story of these people who firmly hold to the name of Jesus and get unfathomably tortured to death for it. I mean, it's been happening since Jesus times and the Bible tells us that it won't stop -- "A servant is not greater than his king. Because I was persecuted, you too will be persecuted." // John 15:20. 

My heart is heavy for these people and for this sick, sin-filled world. Phil Wickham silences his voice and let's the crowd lead- "Yahweh, Yahweh! We love to shout your name, O Lord"- hands high and voices ascending- I was completely overwhelmed in that moment.

I'm outside with hundreds of other believers worshipping my Jesus publicly. PUBLICLY. I'm not hidden. I am in the open. I'm not consumed with fear of who might be watching or what might happen to me- I'm just freely and carelessly worshipping.

I guess it's just always been something that's so routine for me, something I just do without thought. I've never really understood just how unbelievably fortunate I am to live in a place where I can do this. It's extremely humbling to come to the realization that millions of people don't have this freedom and yet they still choose to boldly proclaim the name of Jesus even if it results in their death. It's a reminder that we serve a God who is SO worthy of our full attention. He's deserving of more than just half of our heart and our attendance at church. He's deserving of a radical obedience. He's more than just this convenient God who helps us when we need something beyond our ability or this God we thank when life is good. He's better. I think that if we really took the time to understand the depths of who God is, what He has done and what He promises to do, our hearts would be changed. When we realize that we have no purpose without Him, our lives change- we experience the fullness of life. 

As followers of Christ, these stories of persecution should wake us up. It should make us move.  We should want nothing more than to be pursuing Jesus daily- digging into His word, being in constant communication with Him, loving others recklessly- our hearts should be all-consumed with Him.

Living in America, being put to death for claiming the name of Jesus is not something we usually live in fear of. Though it definitely happens here, our biggest fear tends to be what people might think of us if we choose to live of eternal pursuit instead of temporary satisfaction. Though we might not ever experience physical persecution, we're called to put ourselves to death. Luke 9:23 says, "And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him die to self and take up his cross daily and follow me." - dying to self is saying, "God, I don't live for me, I live for you." It's placing Christ over everything in your life and living in complete obedience to Him; leaving behind those things that are temporary and saying, "God you are better than the things of this life." 

"And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." // Galatians 5:24

We might face 'social death' by choosing this life and we have to make that choice to daily die to self but the reward of Heaven and doing life with Jesus is so much more fulfulfilling. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. (Philippians 1:21) 

Jesus, today I thank you for being a God worth dying for- for giving me freedom and for pursuing me even when I'm not pursuing you.