still stuck in the hospital {day twenty-three}

A week without blogging felt like a piece of my life was missing for little.

You would think I have all the time in the world since I have been confined to a hospital room for the past 23 days (minus that one special day I got to go home), but I have been extremely overwhelmed with school. Though it's been ridiculously stressfull and time consuming, I'm happy to say that I've accomplished a lot this past week. 

•completed four practice exams for my Read 211 class 

•finished all my homework for the quarter

•signed up for winter quarter 2015

•officially sent in my essay and application for Cal Baptist University 

Being stuck in this hospital room has been sort of a blessing in disguise. I'm the queen of procrastination and God knows I am the worst studier. I get distracted by the silliest things and sometimes I just accidentally fall asleep (it happens). This isn't the first time this has happened... last quarter, I was also admitted into the hospital during finals week. Sounds to me like God knows exactly what He's doing. He knows that being stuck in a hospital room with really only nothing but a laptop and wifi is the only way to really force me to get my work done. Well, it worked. I see You, God. I see You. 

I think last time I updated you, my lung function was at 69.... well, two days later it increased to 73. Then, we waited a week to do another PFT (pulmonary function test) which was on Monday, and my lung function was at 82%!!! Praise Jesus!! 

Normal lung function for patients with cf is anywhere between 80-95%. So, 82% is good, but it's not MY good. I was a little frustrated to why I couldn't go home on Monday and why my doctors are adamant about discharging me with anything less than 88%. My doctor explained it to me like this. 

My baseline is 91%. They know my potential, they know that I can get back in the 90's. Every two years, someone with cystic fibrosis loses 1 to 2% of their lung function. For every percent, I gain two years of my life. The difference between 82 and 88 may seem so small but waiting it out and spending weeks in the hospital, fighting to get my lung function back up to my baseline is gaining me a longer life expectancy. The difference between 82% and 88% is 12 years I am potentially adding onto my life. When the doctor explained it like this, I understood. I finally, after 3 weeks of never receiving a solid answer to why being in the hospital is so vital compared to doing my treatments at home, I got it. If missing my trip to Disneyland with my family this upcoming weekend, if spending a Thanksgiving in a hospital room, if having to be constantly hooked up to an iv and sleeping in an uncomfortable hospital bed for 3 weeks to a month means being able to live a longer, healthier life, I'll take it. Anyday. 

I'm so grateful for my cf team here at Stanford and my parents who are always on top of my disease. I'm grateful for my friends and family and even people I don't know who are in constant prayer over my life and my lungs; who push me and encourage me every single day. These people are the reason I am not on a lung transplant list, the reason that my lung function is so good, the reason I beat my life expectancy of 18 years. I don't think you realize that a huge factor to why a lot of kids are so sick, so young and have to spend every other month in the hosptial or hooked up to oxygen everyday is because they don't have parents or a good support system that stay on top of their disease. I ask my nurses daily why so many young kids with cf are in the hospital so often with such poor lung function and they all say it's because they don't do their treatments; they don't have people pushing them to do their treatments when they're tired or visiting them everyday when they do have to be in the hospital. Having a solid support system is so vital to keeping healthy and sometimes I take it for granted. I'm immensely thankful that I have a God who loves and protects me every single day of my life... and I'm eternally thankful for the friends, family and medical team He has placed in my life. I mean it when I say, I wouldn't be alive without you.

I have a lung function test tomorrow at 1. If you could all be praying for me, that would be rad. If it's above 88, I'm free and get to go to Disneyland on Friday. If it's anything less of 88, I'm staying and my sweet friend Mckenzie is going to spend the weekened with me at the hospital. I sleep on this: If we win, we praise Him; If we lose, we praise Him. God is good, all the time; and all the time, God is good.  

xo, Jules