His timing, not mine

"Seek the Lord and wait for what He has in store, and know that great is your reward, so just be hopeful." // Clear the Stage, Jimmy Needham

I have found so much truth in this. Thoughout every circumstance in my life, happy or hard, I've learned that keeping my eyes on Jesus and waiting quietly while He works is the key to life and life abundant. Notice how I didn't say that is the key to a perfect, happy life. We were never promised a life free of pain and disappointment, but we were promised a God who takes broken things and makes them beautiful and a God who promises to never disappoint us. 

So, why do we tend to blame God when life gets hard and disappointment is real? Deuteronomy 31:6 says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never LEAVE you nor forsake you." 

Repeatedely in the Bible, God reminds us that He is the reason for every GOOD thing, that He works everything for OUR good [Romans 8:28], that His love NEVER fails, that He is FOR us and not against us, so why do we point the finger at God everytime pain comes? 

We have this twisted image of who God is and instead of digging into His word and getting to know the real, loving, honest, unfathomable God, we make a list in our heads of all the qualities we think God is and all the things we expect out of Him and when our list doesn't match up with the scenarios in our lives, we question Him and who He is. We point the finger. 

| Friends, throw away your list and open up your Bible to His promises. Get to know the REAL God because I can promise you that if your list of who God is contradicts itself with the situations in your life, you're following the wrong God |

••••••••••

I've been at Stanford for 9 days now on iv antibiotics and 4 times a day airways clearance and breathing treatments. I came in with 83% lung function and them it went to 69 and now it's at 70. my small airways were at 28% and they have increased to 41 which is awesome. My only explanation to this is that being confined to a hospitial room isn't allowing me to go to the gym and move my body like I normally do. I've been extremely frustrated these past few days not because my lung function is dropping but because I have a strong feeling to why this is happening and it's been a fight to convince the doctors of this. I can do the same thing I'm doing here in the hospital at home plus exercise. This happens every hospital stay and everytime I go home, my lung function spikes. Thank you to all my friends who have been such a solid support system for me and for loving me well and praying for me constantly. I'm so thankful for you. 

So, today I met with the on call doctor and my cf team to argue why I think sending me home will benefit me. I spoke up for myself for once and it worked. They heard me. My actual cf doctor is going to come speak to me this afternoon and let me know the plan. I'm a little nervous, but I am reminded that if God wants me out of the hospital, He will make a way. After a complete breakdown last night and surrendering this situation to Him, I finally am feeling that peace that surpasses all understanding. Home or hospitial, God's got me. 

I'm still asking for continuous prayer over my health and protection over my lungs. The same God who healed the blind and the sick and made the paralyzed walk is the one who loves me. He is just as capable of healing now then He was thousands of years ago!!